Six Perfectionistic Pitfalls in Decision-Making—and How to Avoid Them

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with thoughtful, high-achieving individuals who care deeply about getting things just right. But when it comes to making decisions—big or small—perfectionism often hijacks the process and turns it into a painful loop of overthinking and self-doubt. Whether you’re deciding which college to attend, which job to take, which city to move to, or even just what to have for dinner, certain common perfectionistic traps can make the process harder than it needs to be.

Here are six perfectionistic pitfalls to watch out for—and how to find your way out of them.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionists often fall into black-and-white thinking. If an option isn't the best, it feels like a failure to choose it at all.

You might think, “If I didn’t get into my dream school, maybe I shouldn’t go to grad school this year at all.” Or, “None of these job offers are exactly what I wanted, so maybe I should turn them all down.” Or maybe you’re standing in front of your fridge eating plain bread because your favorite sushi place is closed and everything else feels like “settling.”

In the end, perfectionism tricks you into avoiding decisions that don’t align with an idealized vision—and ironically, that avoidance often leads to even worse outcomes.

How to avoid this pitfall:Look directly at the real options in front of you, and choose the best available one. You can always pivot later. Remember the saying: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” It’s far better to move forward from a “good enough” place than to remain stuck in indecision. You might even discover a new favorite takeout spot in the process.

2. Emotional Reasoning

Perfectionists often believe that the “right” decision will feel calm and certain. But that’s rarely the case.

If you’re waiting to feel completely sure before you act, you may find yourself endlessly second-guessing, changing your mind, or backing out of decisions the moment anxiety arises.

How to avoid this pitfall:Anxiety doesn't mean you're making the wrong choice—it usually means you care. Big decisions often come with fear and uncertainty. Instead of trying to eliminate discomfort, try tolerating it. The more you practice making decisions despite the discomfort, the easier and less overwhelming the process becomes. You’re building a muscle—and it will grow stronger with use.

3. The Regret Test Trap

Some well-meaning advice tells us to imagine ourselves five years down the road and ask, “Which decision would I regret not trying?” While this can work for some, perfectionists often twist it into another way to seek certainty: “How can I be sure I won’t regret this later?”

But trying to avoid all future regret is a trap. You can’t predict or prevent every possible future outcome—none of us can.

How to avoid this pitfall:Instead of focusing on regret, try the Joy Test: “Which choice has the greatest potential for joy or fulfillment?” Or the Values Test: “Which path better aligns with my core values—like growth, connection, creativity, or stability?” Shifting from fear-based questions to values-based ones helps bring clarity and internal alignment—the foundation for peaceful decision-making.

4. Information Overload

Perfectionists often assume that the more information they gather, the better their decision will be. But there’s a tipping point—after which more data leads to more confusion, not more clarity.

You might find yourself lost in hours of online research, crowd-sourcing opinions, comparing every variable, and feeling even more overwhelmed than when you started.

How to avoid this pitfall:Ask yourself:

• What are the top three pieces of information I need to make this decision?

• What are my top priorities in this situation?

  
  

  Let those guide your focus. Decision-making isn’t about collecting all the information—it’s about gathering enough of the right information.

5. Trying to Make the Perfect Decision

Whether it’s choosing a graduate program or buying shampoo, perfectionists can spend hours trying to optimize every detail. Even small decisions become exhausting marathons of comparison and second-guessing.

How to avoid this pitfall:Decide what “good enough” looks like—and stick to it. For example, if your hair is color-treated, just find a shampoo that says “color-safe” and move on. Your time and energy are valuable. Save them for the things that matter most.

6. Believing the Right Choice Will Fix Everything

One of perfectionism’s biggest lies is that there is one “right” choice that will guarantee success, happiness, or fulfillment. This creates pressure to get it perfect on the first try—and fear of irreversible mistakes.

How to avoid this pitfall:Remember: You bring the magic—not the decision. Your mindset, values, creativity, and effort matter far more than which school you attend, which job you take, or which city you move to. Most decisions are iterative. You can adapt, grow, and course-correct along the way—just like everyone else.

Final Thoughts

 If you find yourself stuck in decision-making right now, give yourself some grace. You're not broken—you’re just human, and you care deeply and that makes you vulnerable to anxiety.

You don’t have to wait until you’re 100% certain to move forward. You can make a decision that aligns with your values, take a step, and trust yourself to keep building from there.

Just like any decision you make, learning to make decisions is also a learning process. Do not expect to be able to change overnight. If you usually take 2 hours to choose the right shampoo, try setting a time limit for 1 ½ hrs. and go from there.

And if you need support? I’m here to help.